In two days, I will be in Costa Rica. Wow, that is so weird to say after all of this time. I have been a nervous wreck so I asked my mom for advice and she said to talk to some friends. Well, hello friends. The truth is that I am scared brainless. Every time I think about it, I think about being away from home, my family, my friends for three whole months. I am terrified something will happen with my legs and I won’t be able to immediately fix it. What if something happens to my cat, Kit Kat? My mom is having surgery in November, what if she needs me? I have awful directional sense, I could easily get lost in Costa Rica. And if my luggage gets lost, I will be a mess! I have spent the past two months becoming more and more anxious about everything which is the opposite of what is supposed to be happening, right? I don’t want to give the impression that I’m not completely over the moon because I totally am. I’m excited, of course! Especially when I think about all of the friends I’ve already made and will make soon. I’m still in shock at how kind and open all of the new people in my life are. Thinking about the beach helps a lot too because, well, it’s the beach! Costa Rica is beautiful and I know I will do well but how do I calm fears that I don’t even know are justified?
Through all the fear and excitement, however, I feel so incredibly grateful. My mom, bless her heart and her blood pressure, has been so supportive and graceful throughout this entire process. While everyone else has been flooding me with their (much appreciated) advice and worries for me, my mom has kept her comments to herself. I think she knows I need her faith in me. I honestly have no clue how she keeps her composure. I’m grateful to my friends, old and new. I have received an overwhelming amount of love in my life and it still did not prepare me for the hoards of calls, cards, and well wishes I’ve collected these past few weeks. I want to be clear when I say that I do not know what I could’ve done to have deserved the people I have in my corner but I see every one of you and I love you all so much. Lastly, I’m grateful to myself. If you had told me a year ago that I would be where I am today, Id laugh. But I am here and it is because I never gave up on myself and you should know, I wanted to. I wanted to give up so many times.
So yeah, I am as terrified and excited as a six-year-old with the lead role in the school program. I also don’t know how I will ever be able to say thank you in enough ways to truly express how appreciative I am. What I do know is that in two short days, I will embark on my greatest adventure to date and whats a few nerves compared to that? Wish me luck!
See ya, Bria
07/27/2018
See Ya Bria 